Voices:
DAD. . . . . . . . .. . . . . MICHAEL FOX
STEPMOM. . . . . . . . .VILA HAYES
MOM. . . . . . . . .. . . . ANGELA MONTI FOX
[All played by ORIANA FOX.]

[“Narration” usually means that the person is alone directly addressing the camera.]

Dad (narration): I think that the way we treat each other is an interaction . . .

Dad (cut to different, wide angle shot): I’m Michael, I’m Ori’s Dad.

Dad (narration): . . . I treat everybody differently because of the way they treat me and vice versa . . .

Mom (wide angle shot): I’m Angela and I’m Ori’s mom.

Dad (narration cont'd): . . .There is no personality outside of the social ah climate.

Vilia (wide angle shot): I’m Vilia, I’m Ori’s step-mother.

Dad (narration cont'd): I’m sure I influence Oriana and she influences me.

Vilia (narration): I think that in the family Oriana really has a sort of a role as a, you know sort of a positive force . . .

Mom (narration): She makes my day.

Vilia (narration cont‘d): . . .and a way of trying to keep everybody together and somebody that it’s easy for each individual in the family to relate to. . .

Dad (narration): She makes connections one-on-one.

Vilia (narration cont’d): . . . and sometimes I think that in that role I worry a little bit about how she can get all her needs met, but she’s very good at helping other people get their needs met.

Dad (narration): Since Vilia has that personality trait of empathizing with what Oriana wants and what other people want and need.

Vilia (narration): Oriana and I both have a personality trait where we can tell what people need and we try to do that. . .

Vilia: My projection for her because it’s similar to me is that focusing on that you sometimes lose track of what your doing and you’re agreeing to do too many things, you worry about people. . .

Mom: And you’re overloaded.

Vilia: . . .and so you’ve lost what you needed or what you want and you almost have to step back and do it.

Vilia: . . . instead of being overwhelmed with emotion or something that’s one of the skills that I have in my life.

Mom: It’s to figure it out.

Vilia: . . . is to sit down and say alright what do we need and what do you want . . .

Mom: Right.

Dad: Right.

Vilia: . . . and what will help.

Mom: Right. Analytic.

Dad: And the. . .

Vilia: . . . and how do we solve it.

Dad: Yes, it was analytic and Ori I think learned some of those skills because uh initially Ori’s emotions were often overwhelming they were too strong. . .

Vilia (narration): I find it really hard to be angry and I find it much easier to be upset . . .

Dad: . . . or she was too withdrawn or she always had to hold them in.

Vilia: . . and I think Oriana has a lot of that trait. . .

Mom: Yeah, I agree with that.

Vilia: . . .has a lot of that trait.

Dad (narration cont‘d): . . .she learned how to hold in her emotions.

Mom: That’s because Oriana doesn’t like to have anyone be really angry with her.

Dad (narration): When I was little I cried at the drop of a hat.

Mom (narration): I think I don’t have any problem ha expressing anger. Ah, I think sometimes I express it too impulsively

Dad (narration): Ori has sensitivity um she gets that from both sides of her biological family.

Dad (narration): And like her mother she feels the wound of criticism very deeply.

Mom (narration): It’s very hard to criticize someone who has doesn't have a good opinion of themself, that person is always trying to good, that person is always trying to be the best, to be perfect, so that the people around them will love them. That’s that person, that'sme.

Dad: There’s certainly a depressive element in my side of the family. There’s certainly a cautiousness in you about people hurting you. And I think Ori does have that.

Mom: But I don’t think there’s a gene for that.

Dad: I’m not sure.

Mom: That, that I think

Dad: I’m not sure.

Mom: I think that comes from. . .

Dad: Whatever it is . . .

Mom: . . . I think that comes from the social structure, I mean it. . . you may have, there may be a . . .

Dad: Well, it really doesn’t matter does it?

Mom: I mean, it does matter because there’s a temperamental thing. In other words there’s a temperamental thing that happens.

Dad: Good.

Mom: Depending on how the environment meets that particular temperament, you get the result.

Dad: Exactly.

Mom: I remember a nurse holding Ori in her first hour of birth or two hours of birth and said this one curls right to you.

Dad (narration): Partly for the security, partly for the closeness, and intimacy, she always needed a man, she always needs a man around her, partly to validate her.. .

Mom (narration): She’s just like me in that she always has a boyfriend, that’s the story of my life, I always had a boyfriend.

Dad (narration cont‘d): . . . but if that man is not around she doesn’t need him as much, she doesn’t miss him as much, she doesn’t love him as much, (cut to group shot) However once she saw him again she felt wonderful about him.

Mom: So in other words it out of site out of mind.(laughs)

Vilia(in sync with mom): out of site out of mind.

Mom: So if you can’t love the girl you're with. . . (laughs)

Dad: That’s not exactly it, I think it has to do with one of the compartmentalization things.

Mom: Ah, oh the family.

Dad: Yeah, the family thing.

Dad (narration): Compartmentalization has its price uh and it becomes easier to turn on and off emotions and uh that’s confusing.

Mom: In other words if they were at Dad’s house they would compartmentalize that life they would, it would be not a natural thing to talk about it the next day. Just think about it, you talk about your day-to-day life with your primary person, right?

Vilia: (nods) mm hm.

Mom (single shot): Basically it they couldn’t be that natural about it, you know, like what they did that day or the previous day or that weekend if it was at one of the other’s house

Dad: I think kids who come from divorced families learn the culture of each family. . .

Dad (narration): She stopped sucking her thumb at our house not at your mother’s house . . .

Dad: . . . and they and they know the rules.

Mom: And they figure it out.

Dad: And they figure it out.

Dad (narration cont’d): . . . and she was able to keep that a secret.

Dad: But I always was amazingly impressed, and grateful actually, that Ori did not tell me about her life at her Mom’s. And I assumed also that the three of them did not tell their mother about the life we had (gesturing toward Vilia) because they wanted to keep them, well, it may not be great to compartmentalize all the time, but in this case I felt it was valuable for the sets of parents.

Vilia: See I don’t agree with that. I don’t agree with that. I think it was easier on Michael.

Mom: You mean?

Vilia: Michael wanted to not kno,w I more wanted to have a sense of how she did her homewor at your at Angela’s home.

Dad: Yes. I thought it was valuable for the sets of parents because. . .

Mom: I think that they didn’t say much. I think it’s true.

Vilia: Right.

Dad: No, that’s exactly what they did, and I knew it!

Mom: Except for one thing that when you guys were breaking up . . .(gesturing towards Dad and Vilia).

Dad (narration): Ah, I felt it would have been too hard emotionally to relate to three kids at once.

Mom: . . . each of the kids told me and told me not to tell the other two. (giggle)

Dad (narration cont’d): . . . and I felt I could get everyone’s reactions separately.

Mom: I started with Josh and I said ok and he said don’t tell Alex and Oriand I said ok, and Alex don’t tell Josh and Ori and I said ok. It was like that.

Dad: (laughs)

Vilia: Uh huh.

Mom: and so all three of them told me and then told me not to tell the other ones.

Dad (narration cont’d): It might have been a little easier for the three of you to have each other’s support, but that was the choice. That was the choice and it was not an easy situation.

Mom: Overall, I think it was very hard for them, but I think it was better that they had each other than if they were just one child.

Dad: (nods) Right.

Vilia: And I think it’s better to have both parents no matter how complicated it is.

[The End.]